Running and Chasing
by Midnight Rosedrop
Summary: Ran is always thinking of Shinichi, always running and chasing after him, after all it's in her name. However, although she doesn't know it, Shinichi has always been running and chasing after her. -Oneshot-
Conan had just come back from dealing with the dark organization that caused this pain. The nerve racking plan had barely worked. People that he had trusting him had been injured due to his own mistakes, and on the spot improvisation was required to guarantee the lives of his family, friends and allies. Despite his efforts, the one goal he had wanted to achieve, the complete and utter downfall of the organization that he had become the victim of, had not been achieved. Everything had been knocked down, with the exception of the few, but incomprehensibly powerful cornerstones. The boss, Gin, and Rum. Of course, Vermouth was to be considered as well.

His disappointment weighed heavily on his mind. He had not just simply hoped to see Ran as himself again. He desired it. He longed for it. He dwelt in the dreams of it. He reveled in the idea. He was infatuated with the feelings the scenario would bring and the relief they both would have. Now, even if they ever did find the antidote he didn't know if he would be able to bring himself to a take the antidote, seeing as it would put his beloved in danger.

As he had walked in the door he found the love of his life hunched over on his desk muttering and mumbling incoherently. Her shoulders trembled, and the wavering in her near silent voice alerted him of her tears and sobbing state. He had quickly made his way to her, filled with worry and fear.

He stared at her tears. She didn't even noticed the eight year old that her tears fell on. Conan… No, Shinichi looked at her in desperation. He has always wanted to tell her that he had always been right next to her following and padding along after her, that he was always running and chasing after her. He still desires it, to be able to wrap his arms around her to comfort her. His situation prohibited such an act, the most embrace he could give her was a held hand.

Her tears landed on his cheeks. They felt heavier and harder than any bullet. He took the salty tears that fell from her eyes as the punishment for his lies, for him endangering her and her father. Her tears punished him for all the wrong and late deductions that caused the loss of all those around her. And most punished of all his great burning sins, was the sin of causing those tears.

"Ran-neechan?" Conan asked in false innocence and ignorance. "What's wrong?"

She didn't acknowledge him.

She didn't hear him.

She didn't see him.

"Ran-neechan?" He asked again, Shinichi's desperation shining through. He shook her. "Ran-neechan? Ran?" No reply. She just continued to cry at her desk. Her father was out and Conan was the only one in the house. However he lacked the ability to heal the deep wounds he had inflicted on her heart. "RAN!"

Ran shot straight up from her previous hunched state. "SHINI- Oh, Conan," she started as she hastily and fruitlessly wiping away her tears. Her breath hitched as she continued, and attempted to show a bright beaming smile for the boy she looked at as a younger brother. "Did you just get back?" Her smile was broken and the tears hadn't stopped falling.

Conan's wide and childish eyes narrowed up at the teenage girl with indomitable determination. "Shinichi-Niichan will come back."

With a hollow and broken smile of an abandoned widow, she nodded, "I know." She paused her breath quivering at her own thoughts. "He has to come back. He has to." She hit the desk allowing a large crack to resound throughout the house, causing Conan to jump back in alarm. "Darn it! If he doesn't come back I'll break! I don't know how I can stay together! He's just so stupid! He should be able to deduce what he's making me going through!" Ran pounded the table again allowing the previous cracks grow. "I love him and I've been waiting for him and I'll continue to wait for him." She pounded it again, "So why is he making me wait!?" Pound! "Why does he refuse to tell me!" Pound! " **WHY!** " Pound! **_Skrectkash!_** The desk broke and splintered to the ground, leaving nothing recognizable to what it was before.

Ran collapsed to her knees as she abounded into tears, she chuckled a bit here and there before grasping onto her breath and turned towards Conan. "Sorry Conan, I guess it's weird to see a big girl like me cry." She gave him a faint-hearted smile towards the boy. "Don't worry I'll be strong!" She said proudly, filled with false confidence.

Of course, Conan full of smiles announced, "I'm going to my room!" Shinichi had seen through Ran's the falsehood of her statement concerning her emotional endurance. When he reached his room he took out the two phones he always had on hand. One was Conan's and the other was the one he used for his true identity. He stared at at them for a bit, allowing his thoughts to overcome the barrier he had put between them and his emotions.

His situation was anything but kind.

He resented it. He detested it. He hated it. He loathed it. He despised it. He cursed it. He thought it to be lower than any insect, more barbaric than any barbarian, more painful than any torture concocted by either mankind or the devil. It was the bane of his existence. The fire to his work. The opener of old wounds. The laceration to his back. The poison to his drinks. The noose to his neck. The thief of his hope. The executioner of his happiness. The weapon to his heart. The darkness and death to his soul. The ashes to all that could've been.

He grabbed the phone he used for himself and clutched it. There was always the possibility that he never found the antidote. That Ran would never be able to see him for who he really was, but just a younger brother. He would never be able to take her on a proper date. One where no one died. That his arms would never be able to wrap around her. That she'd curse his name with undefinable hatred when he never came back. He loved her, but he may be forbidden to express it or comfort her.

He glared at his reflection the screen of the phone had. He ripped the glasses off and threw them at the wall. Just to see his reflection even more clearly. How come he had to see his face? The one with the wide jaw and the larger, by proportion, eyes. His facial features never changed. He was still him, a teenage boy with blue eyes, a small pointed nose, and a thoughtful expression. So why was he so small? Why did it have to be him of all people who was forced to watch his love go through this pain. Why couldn't he do _anything?!_

He turned on the screen to see the wallpaper. It was none other than Ran. It featured the top, left, side of her slender, yet athletic frame, as she gazed out in the direction of the lake, towards the setting sun. Her hair only slightly aroused by the wind. Her indigo eyes bearing the echoes of hope, and love. One couldn't dare compare to her. Shinichi had fallen for the most kind, generous, honest, caring, open minded, accepting, faithful, hopeful, and beautiful human in his world.

He continued to stare at her picture till the phone went black due to inactivity of the user, himself. He turned it on once again and dialed the number belonging to the maiden he had grown up with. He took a deep breath, and pushed the call button.

As the phone rang, he activated the bowtie around his neck. It rang again and on the third time Ran picked up.

"Shinichi?" She questioned, her hope shining through.

"Of course, who'd you expect?" He asked lamely, attempting to cover up the desperation he had, just to talk to her as himself again.

"It's just that you haven't called lately and-"

"You were worried about me?" He asked in a snide and teasing tone.

"Yeah…" A pause. "Hey Shinichi?"

"Yes Ran?"

"When can I see you again?"

"I don't know… "

"Are you still working on the case?"

"Ye… Yeah… Why?"

"This case, it's dangerous isn't it?"

Shinichi sighed, of course she would've figured out that this case was dangerous. It was because it so dangerous that he had been avoiding calling her. Apparently the Organization had tapped the phones of a lot of people around him. His lover was intelligent and protective of the people she cared about. If she had found out, she would just be more worried, but he was too emotionally broken and distraught to even attempt lying. "Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me!" She screamed through the phone, "If you had told me, I would be there with you, helping you!" She paused before continuing. Her voice changing from harsh and scolding to a more soft lonely and sad tone. "Do you even care how I feel about this?"

"How could I not care?"

"Then can you understand it?" She asked her voice cracking.

"I do understand." Was his quick response.

"Then why are you doing this to me?" A pained voice said, coming through the line.

"Because I love you." He started. "And because I love you I don't want you to get caught up in all this. There is a lot that I've never wanted you to see, and yet you have. This is something that makes me wish I'd never become a detective. I don't want you to ever see this in your life."

There was a silence and he knew why. To say that he didn't want to be a detective anymore was something unheard of. If something so horrible had occurred then she would hate it. "Shinichi?"

"Yes?"

"You know I love you right?"

"I do."

"Then let me help you, you stupid genius!" She screamed. "I'll do everything I can to help, just le-"

" **NO!** " Shinichi yelled. "I refuse to put you in any danger!" The girl on the other end gave a small squeak in surprise, she had, had Shinichi yell at her but never like this, and before she knew it, he was spilling everything he felt.

"I want to talk to you like a normal couple! I want to treat you to your favorite ice cream! I want to take you out to the movies, to see some ridiculous, cliche movie you're interested in! I want to embrace the fact that I love you! I want to do something to prove that what I have is **not** _just_ a schoolboy crush! I want to make you smile and laugh like no one else can, but I'm stuck on this, idiotic, exasperating case, and I will crumble into nothingness if you ever get hurt! I refuse to see that! You are worth more to me than anything! **You** are the _only_ thing I want!"

There was a long silence, filled with only the hum of the phones.

"Shi… Shinichi?"

"Ye- Yes… " He said, realizing what he'd just said. Embarrassed beyond comparison.

"I'm sorry,"

"Sorry for what idiot?" He scoffed, "You haven't done anything to apologize for."

"But I haven't even considered how you felt! I was only think-"

"Good, don't worry about me. I'll be back soon. Healthy, alive and well." He let a soft smile grow on his face. One that could only symbolize love. "You better be able and ready to go out on our first date."

"Ye- Yes!"

"I should get going… "

"Okay."

"I'll call you soon. Okay?"

"I miss you."

"Me too."

"Do you have to say goodbye?"

"Yes, bye."

"Bye…"

"With that, he turned off his phone. His reflection showed red. A tomato faced child was now staring back at him. He quickly looked away, and hid the phone in one of the children's books he had torn the center out of. He turned off his tie and fumbled around, looking for his glasses. Which he placed promptly on the bridge of his nose, thanking what little luck he had, the the glasses were not broken.

After finishing the childish problems he had to do for school, he walked down to see Ran picking up the desk sheepishly, and with an equally red face. Humming one of Yoko's recent songs.

No matter what would happen, he would turn back to his normal self. He would wrap his arms around her and tell her that he loved her. He'd tell it to her properly this time, and he would care protect her. Her happiness was his goal in life, and he'd do anything to reach that goal.


End file.
